5 Amazing Things That Happen When You Spend Time Alone
There is a fundamental difference between being alone and being lonely. Loneliness exists when we feel disconnected from others, and ultimately, from ourselves. There is a sense of lack of love, an isolation within that bleeds out into the world around us.
But aloneness is our very nature. It is a deep silence within us that only we can access in ourselves. It is the sacred space within that holds infinity inside our hearts. Osho describes the difference between the two as this:
“Instead of seeing our aloneness as a tremendous beauty and bliss, silence and peace, at-easeness with with our existence, we misunderstand it as loneliness. Aloneness has beauty and grandeur, a positivity; loneliness is dark and dismal, it is a gap. Something is missing, and something is needed to fill it.”
When we are lonely, we are wanting from the other. We are wanting a connection, to feel loved and wanted. But if we’re never able to create this feeling from within, we will always seek others to complete us.
The ability to be alone and be happy with just ourselves is absolutely beautiful. Many times, we run from ourselves and use others as a distraction. The more time we can spend alone, tapping into the depths of our being and exploring who we truly are, the better we can understand ourselves and in turn, relate to others when they are around.
You Learn to Love Yourself
When you’re spending time with just you, it becomes easier to befriend yourself and have fun in your own energy. We learn how to just be with ourselves. It becomes easier to observe our mental patterns and see where we tend to focus our attention. This can be the perfect time to tap into yourself and learn who you are on a deeper level.
We can begin to explore our fears, triggers, hopes and desires in a state of clarity, free from the distractions of other people. We can learn to love ourselves the more time we spend in our own company – because, at the end of the day, we’re the ones we spend the most time with.
Your Perspective Shifts
It’s quite common for people to take a moment to cool down after an argument, so that we may gain a more grounded perspective. With time, emotions and energies settle, allowing us to peer more clearly into the waters of self-reflection.
The same applies to spending time alone, the more time we spend with our thoughts and emotions, the more our perspective can start to shift. Say you had a disagreement with a friend and couldn’t see their point of view. As we allow ourselves to explore different angles of perception, our awareness begins to expand to receive in more information. We may feel completely different about a situation after spending time alone just thinking and feeling into it. This helps us not act on an impulse and tap into our intuition more easily in everyday scenarios.
Your Gratitude Grows
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes distance between you and friends, a loved one or family makes us appreciate them so much more. The more time goes on, the easier it is to forget about the distracting details and just focus on how much we love them.
Our memories start to focus on all the positive experiences we’ve had and how grateful we are to have had them. This is a great practice for couples who spend a lot of time together. It’s always important to have alone time that’s not interrupted by the energy of others, allowing for a sacred space of self exploration and reflection.
Doing this regularly makes reuniting excitingly special and can keep the emotional spark between lovers ignited.
You Become Independent
The more we love our aloneness, the stronger we become emotionally and ultimately, the easier it is for us to be in relationships with others. The cord of attachment doesn’t exist when two fundamentally independent people engage in a relationship.
There is no need to NEED the other, love just naturally flows between the two people. In this, you can become completely free to be yourself, love others deeply, and then let them go when it is time. It is incredibly powerful to be able to let relationships go without holding onto attachments and expectations. When we truly love ourselves and our aloneness, we are able to shift in and out of relationships with ease and compassion.
You Become YOU
When we spend a lot of time around others, especially for longer periods, it’s very common for us to take on their energy. We can start to change who we are in order to feel more accepted or loved. We may start to lose the essence of who we are and live behind layers of other people’s desires.
When we take time for ourselves, we settle back into who we truly are. We know ourselves best; we have a beautifully intimate and indescribably personal relationship with ourselves. This relationship is powerful and important, and should be treated with the deepest of love and respect. Sometimes the best form of respect we can give ourselves is the gift of space. Allowing space between us and others, so that we may be free to explore, laugh, cry and just be with ourselves.
From this space of freedom, we are born again and again, with a renewed sense of self each time we dare to go a bit deeper.